Out Of Nothing At All !

December 22, 2008

Where the majority of problems come from most of the time between couples .. is that we try to make our partners happy in the way that would make us happy .. disregarding the fact that we’re different !
on the other side .. our partners sometimes cant interpret our actions in the way we meant them .. and they get positively sure that our actions cant be out of love !

and then we all turn to the all time repeated question ..  “How could i ever satisfy u?!”

i believe the answer to this kind of qs .. lies in Understanding,Tolerance,  Acceptance, Respect, Clarity and Appreciation

we have to Understand the motive our partners have doing wutever he/she does .. as long as we have something going between us .. most of the times our partner is trying to make things better for us .. even when it turns out that its not helping his motive was out of love .. understanding this would change the way we react to his/her “seemingly to us” bothering actions .

We need to show Tolerance to our partners .. accepting the fact that after all they are humans and that they can make mistakes .. being tolerant we wont snap at them at the very first mistake falling in the worst mistake we can have which is “judging” them .. now that they’re getting all defensive .. itd easily turn into a lose/lose situation !

Acceptance ..  relevant to being tolerant .. a part of its very essence .. when partners feel accepted .. they can be more relaxed regarding their choices .. and thats only when they can be creative .. knowing that if things went wrong for any reason they wont get “knocked out” .. they spend much more time in the comfort zone allowing them to feel much more love and having the power and energy to love back :)

one of the most important things that would keep human beings living in harmony .. is Respect .. respecting everything .. ur partner’s needs, insecurities, turn offs, likes & dislikes, choices even brains !
when partners have mutual respect for each other .. they’d surely have an easier job satisfying each other

Always be Clear about things that turn u off or on .. dont let things get u down everytime when u can change that fact by simply clarifying wut u have inside .. its ur right .. so declare it .. assumptions would only make things worse in times of uncertainty, both of you and ur partner have a goal .. which is making things work for the both of u .. making each other happy .. clarifying things would really help a lot doing this particular thing :)

and least but not last :D
Appreciation !
always appreciate wutever ur partner does .. no matter how big or small it may be .. know that in everything he/she does .. lies a part of him/her .. so now that u can look as ur partners actions as given pieces of him/her ..
with all the feelings u have for ur partner .. ud just cherish everything he/she does .. even the smile ur given in a early winter morning .. lighting up ur day .. the tea with milk glass he/she offers u while ur getting up lazy from ur bed in a weekend .. the walk he/she would take around the block bringing you something u want .. the fact that he/she would stay awake watching you falling asleep (not aware of his/her loving eyes) .. fixing u the meal u find when ur back home from a long work day (maybe even for both of u) .. even going through book shelves with a watery eyes trying to look for ways to make ur life experience “together” a better one :)
its all about Appreciating the small details in everyday’s life .. and the big ones too :)

i believe now that i went thru those things .. its not just for “couples” to lead a happy life .. its for any two human beings dealing together looking forward to have a quality relationship !

am sure many can add up to those answers i wrote above .. and thats the greatness of human beings .. every single one has his very own way to make things happen the way he knows the best :)

Maybe we’re doing those things .. maybe we dont and so we need to do them .. most of us would look at those meanings and think its so easy  doing them !

thats because having a good relation with others is not physics !

its something most of us do all the time even without noticing .. sometimes we’re just tired .. giving up on each other .. starting to feel frustrated and act upon it ..

while most of us would feel that this post has added nothing to his knowledge as he already knows all about it ..

we’d find that out of all those nothings .. we can have the most successful, easy going, happy and affectionate relationships :)

thats because its not really out of “Nothing” .. its all out of the most magical and beautiful thing in the whole world ..

Human’s Soul :)

*this post was published first as a comment on 2002 post @ diverse moods blog :)

**post title is a part of Air Supply song title “Making love out of nothing at all”


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